I do not understand anything, I'm just very nervous, more than usual, want to film by Nanni Moretti, want coffee, you want to read Memories of the subsurface . I read a piece and then I looked Taxi Driver, that was put in one of those charts that people like to do-absolutely useless the rest of the forty-seventh-place of the best movies in film history and so on some also by Martin Scorsese and De Niro and everyone, but if it were not for these pages Scorsese and De Niro would not could do just anything.
"... Behold, a man so naturally I consider him a real man, normal, like he meant the most tender of mothers, nature, who has lovingly given birth. Such a man, I envy him to the transfer of bile. Certainly it is a stupid, do not discuss, but maybe just a normal man must be stupid, do you know that? Maybe this is also nice. And my suspicion is based more so if I consider, for example, 'antithesis normal man, the one that has a strong conscience, of course, a still born, not from the womb of nature, this man who still graze in front of his antithesis to the point considered, honestly, with his strong conscience, and a mouse not a man. Though a conscious rat vigorously, but still a rat in front of a man, and so ...
The fact is that he considers himself a mouse, do not nobody calls him, and therein lies the point. Let's look at this mouse in action. Suppose that he has been injured (almost always happens) and that he feels like revenge. Perhaps he builds up more anger in ' Homme de la nature et de la verité , a disgusting, pathetic desire to return the insult with the same anger, indeed rage gnaw at the soul which is worse' Homme de la nature et de la verité, because the ' Homme de la nature et de la verité, for his innate stupidity considers his revenge simply an act of justice, and the rat because of strong conscience Justice denies this. Get to the end time for revenge. The poor mouse, in addition to their original ugliness, he was able to amass around him thanks to his strong conscience, a number of other ugliness: a problem leads to an infinite number of unresolved problems so that gathers around without the desire a deadly mire, made a stinking mire of his doubts, his hesitations, and spit upon him that pulling spontaneous and active men, who surrounded him solemnly, disguised as judges and dictators, that he's laughing out loud. Clearly he does not care about all that remains, with a wave of foot and with a grin of contempt which is the first not to believe, and indecorously crawl into his hole. There, in his filthy, stinking ground our mouse offended, mocked and beaten is immersed in a cold, poisonous and what is worse, unquenchable anger. Remember the forty consecutive offenses, until the last, most shameful details that each time will add even more shameful details of her getting excited and exasperated with the fantasy. It will be the first to be ashamed of his vision, and yet everything back to memory, unwind all inventing things never happened under the pretext that they would not have happened and will forgive nothing. Maybe even start to take revenge, but at times, slightly hidden behind the stove, incognito, I do not believe in their own right to retaliate, nor in the success of its revenge, and knowing in advance that all his attempts at revenge will suffer from one hundred times more than those who must suffer the vengeance, of which not even s'accorgerà. And even on his deathbed remember anything with all the interest accumulated over time, e. .. But here, in this very cold, and disgusting semidisperazione semifede, in this forty-year burial aware of himself, still alive in underground because of his torment, in this hopeless situation created intentionally, yet constantly challenged, in all this venom unfulfilled desires that came in, in all this feverish indecision between irrevocable decisions and sudden repentance, is enclosed the juice of the strange thrill that I mentioned. It 's so thin, sometimes eludes the consciousness that people hardly limited or even, simply, people with nerves of steel would know to grasp even a hint [...] do not understand the rarity of such a thrill. These gentlemen, in some cases, for example, although bellow like bulls, explained in his throat, in front of an obstacle, and although this may be very noble of them, well let's face it, though, as I said, calm down immediately. The obstacle, namely the stone wall? What stone wall? Well, of course, the laws of nature, the data of the natural sciences, mathematics. Already, q hen you show that you are descended from the apes there is nothing to frown, accept things as they are . [...]
Lord God that I do, I will, the laws of nature and arithmetic if these laws and two-for-2:00 to 4:00 I wonder why I do not like? Of course, I will not attempt to tear down the wall with the front if in fact I will not have the strength to do it, but only because I do not even acquieterò I'm facing a wall and I do not have enough energy to bring it down.
as if a humble stone wall could actually settle down and perhaps enclose a message of peace because only two times two make four. Supreme idiocy! So much is understood, be aware of everything, all the impossibilities and all the stone walls, and not to give in to any of those impossibilities and stone walls of these repugnant if you resign, and get through the most stringent logic operations to revolting conclusions on the eternal theme that even the stone wall you are the culprit, although it is evident that you are not at all and, consequently, in shrunken ' inertia, with the idea that you can also black but there is no one to blame, that the case is not and perhaps will never be found, that there's a replacement, a misrepresentation, a fraud, that here is simply a concoction, not you know what and who knows who, but despite all these impossibilities, and all these misrepresentations, you're evil and, at least you know, the more you're sick. "
Amen.
is thus was born Travis Bickle. What then is Curiously enough, because just a few days before reading these pages I was discussing with my mother. We were in the car and talked about religion, it is one thing that I like to do especially with my mother because she is a Christian convinced grown to church and catechism in a sense, but at the same time take full account of everything that I say, on the contrary, I have a small semi-atheist or an atheist or at least still be looking for something and who does not believe exactly the Bible, well I should, in short, that always creates a nice contrast and I remember exactly what he was talking about folklore, then I said something like, "Yes, yes, folklore, like the stories told in the Bible!" You are a little upset I replied: "So you're thoroughly convinced that all those stories are only legends invented?". "Of course, scientific discoveries have destroyed brick by brick, the whole edifice of religion, if you show that descend from the apes you can not do anything, you have to accept it. "
And then a few days later I found written in the subsoil Memories, I love these little coincidences, I do think sometimes that maybe my pseudo-atheism knows a few moments failure.
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